First Ask Why: Raising Kids to Love God Through Intentional Discipleship

It’s no secret that parenting is tricky business. With advice flooding in from all sides, strong-willed children pushing against boundaries, and our own human flaws, it’s easy to get bogged down in every how-to that we’re not doing well. But maybe that isn’t the right approach. Maybe the first step is not to ask “how” but to ask “why.”

Like most parents, when Shelly Wildman had children, she consulted books, sermons, and lectures on how to raise the best children possible. Yet every resource focused on how to get external results: children who behave the way others expected them to. For Shelly and her husband, the turning point happened when they started asking why instead–shifting their focus to internal change. That’s when their purpose as parents became clear: parents are called to do their best to show kids how to know and love Jesus, to love others, and to make a difference in the world.

There are no rules here, no inflexible series of steps that lead to perfect parenting. Instead, Shelly encourages parents to think about their unique family and why each child’s needs for spiritual growth might look different. She walks you through intentional questioning, focusing on building a firm foundation for lasting discipleship. And in the end, you’ll discover that God wants the same outcome you do: a child who knows Christ intimately, loves him deeply, and has a heart to serve him fully.

Shelly Wildman is mom to three adult daughters and a writer and speaker from her home in Wheaton, Illinois. She has published on The Gospel Coalition blog, and has contributed to books such as Dating During the Apocalypse and A Moment to Breathe.